Joey Gladstone is a liar.
Today, as like most other days recently, I am watching Full House at its regularly schedule time of 24 hours a day. Full House may well be one of the greatest TV shows to come out of the early 90s, along side the likes of Family Matters, Step by Step, and Saved by the Bell. On one of todays multiple episodes of Full House, Joey Gladstone is needed to substitute teach for Michelles class at school. I’ll save you the details of the show and skip to the end where Joey is doing a science experiment for the kids. Joey claims that he can get the egg to suck through the top of the bottle. Being young and easily exciteable the kids are overjoyed at seeing such a feat, and they dont beleive that it can be done. Joey proceeds to take a piece of paper, light it on fire and drops it into the bottle. Following this he places the egg on top of the bottle and waits for the oxygen to be burnt up and cause a vacuum effect and suck the egg into the bottle.
This being interesting to me plus the abundance of free time that I have available I decide to take on this experiment. Now I’m no stranger to lighting fires, as I have plenty of pyromania stories from my childhood, so I think this is going to be an easy 5 minute experiment that leads to a small amount of amazement. The following is my proof of why Joey Gladstone is a liar.
Attempts at sucking an egg through a bottle, and their results:
A: I light a peice of paper drop it into the bottle, and place the egg on top.
R: Nothing happens, except the paper burns out, and the egg is left sitting on top of the bottle.
A: I add more paper to cause more flames to burn the oxygen quicker.
R: I end up with a burnt finger trying to get the paper to light, and the egg is still left sitting on top of the bottle.
A: I create a McGyver like fuse out of pine straw leading into the bottle and paper that is in it.
R: The pine straw was not a good fuse and burned out before it made it to the bottle.
A: I fill the bottle with paper and leaves and other flammable materials and have a peice of rolled up paper sticking out of the top and light it.
R: Neighbors see me doing this and surely think I am creating a Molitov Cocktail, also, the egg was not sucked through the bottle top.
After various other attempts at getting this to work, all I ended up with was a wasite of 30 minutes, a burnt finger, a waisted pack of matches, and the dissapointment that I can never look at Mr. Gladstone the same.
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hahaha being unemployed sure sounds like a bitch!
that rotten bastard Gladstone has screwed us for the last time!
Did you at least throw the egg at a passing car or an old person? Or at your former employer’s front window?
be sure to use a hard boiled and peeled egg Dr. Wizard.
i may have done the same thing(using a regular egg) but i’ll be damned if im gonna sit here and let you defile the good name of Ranger Joe!!!
Joey rocks.